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Deathstalker 2 (a movie review)

Ladies and gentlemen, please, welcome Jim Wynorski once again! And I do mean it in a positive way, because what we have here is one of the best fun movies you can watch. It’s time we talk about Deathstalker 2.

I do remember seeing it on VHS in our local video-rentals in my native (ex)Czechoslovakia years ago, but I don’t really remember watching it. In all probability I did, but to re-visit this great B-flick is like meeting your crush from ages ago and see he/she (you choose) still looks the same, not ageing a bit.

It’s true a lot of movies don’t age well. Sometimes you re-watch a movie you liked and ask yourself: “Why the hell did I like it so much?” With Deathstalker 2 it’s the opposite. Obviously, if you are a fan of trashy, exploitation, low budget movies which don’t take themselves too seriously.

Deathstalker (John Terlesky) trying to score a threesome.

But let’s have a proper look. If you remember, I’ve reviewed the first movie in Deathstalker “franchise”, where our hero was portrayed by muscular Rick Hill. Here, he was replaced by less muscular, but more agile John Terlesky and with him (and with Jim Wynorski on the director’s seat) the movie also upped the level of humour and good old-fashioned fun for (almost) all family. I’d said – almost. Why?

Deathstalker 2 director, the great Jim Wynorski

Because, it’s Jim Wynorski’s movie. That a synonym for T&A, that’s why. So while kids might like Dungeons & Dragons, it’s the 17years old male teenagers who would absolutely love the movie. And I mean, love to bits (n tits). And because the old saying has it the man is just a grown up boy, let’s say, that even 43yo me likes it as much, if not more.

So, as mentioned, John Terlesky is Deathstalker here and what’s his deal? Well, nothing more, nothing less than the most traditional quest of quests – to save the princess. Of course, being a “Prince of thieves”, his help is not free (he has a pretty obvious motive here), but who wouldn’t help a damsel in distress, right?

Sorcerer Jarek (John La Zar)

So, the story. Old sorcerer (who else) Jarek (considering the name, probably of Polish origin) has created the evil double of princes Evie and thrown out the OP (original princess) out of the castle. She has disguised herself as Reena the Seer and is trying to get her position back. Here comes our hero.

Although he doesn’t know she is a princess, he embarks on the journey for riches and fame, and to become a man of legend.

Beautiful Toni Naples as Sultana

And in this quest they encounter the band of pirates, hired by the sorcerer, zombies, the Amazons, the sorcerer’s right hand Sultana (Toni Naples), up to the movie’s climax, the fight between Deathstalker and sorceror Jarek (John Lazar, here as John La Zar), the quick disposal of the evil clone of the princes and the brawl between the guards and Amazons.

Luckily, everything goes according to usual expectations and we see Deathstalker accepting the position besides the princess.

What a nice story. But that’s not all, folks!!! The movie is full of tongue-in-cheek one liners, jokes and silly situations, I don’t remember laughing so hard for a long time. For example, the wrestling match between Deathstalker and Gorgo. Believe me, the would-be “humorous” modern comedies don’t even come close to the art of doing movies the old way.

What do you think it’s gonna happen? Yes, Monique Gabriele’s gonna show us the good stuff.

Now, for the best part – lucky us, we have Monique Gabrielle in the double role of Reena/Evie showing her assets (and in a quite a long scene, God bless Jim!). Not enough? There’s gorgeous Toni Naples (playing Sultana), in a great costume – and we are blessed with a look at her nice pair of boobies too (and I have to mention, that the segment with the stroboscope was quite genius). And while Maria Socas as the Amazon Queen hasn’t actually flashed her stuff, one can definitely admire her through a see-through tunic. Can anyone be disappointed? Really?

Another beauty – Maria Socas as the Amazon Queen.

Now, it’s true the movie is cheap and looks cheap. And it’s also true I don’t give a damn about it. I’m not sitting down with this kind of movie expecting Kubrick and multimillion CGI effects. This is the movie for Saturday night (OK, it was Thursday night), with pizza (none), beer (none) and a few drunken friends (also none present) having a great fun. That, my friends, would be even better, but I can tell you with a certainty, that it’s gonna happen, as Deathstalker 2 is the movie you’ll re-watch again and again – because it delivers every time. Thank you, Mr. Wynorski.

…and Toni Naples is just OMG!

Rudolf Schütz

A father to two little perpetuum mobiles called kids, Rudolf is a main force behind The Rubber Axe webzine, a bookworm, musick lover and a movie fan - not to mention his virgin forays into the comics and board/card games.

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